Day 3 in Tanzania
I’m living here at Meserani Snake Park visiting my mother and father in law.
The place gets many overland tourists passing through that ask the most bizarre questions whilst in the bar or on safari.
My ribs hurt from laughing so hard, so I decided to compile a few of them together out of hundreds for a bit of amusement, Enjoy.
Q. Can we drink the water out of the toilets?
A. If you want to
Q. How many animals in the big five??
A. Ahh Duh 5
Q. If I phone my Mum now will she be home?
Q. Do Orphans go home on school holidays?
A. Far Out!!!!
Q. So what kind of animals do Zebra eat?
Q. So how do the animals walk into the Ngorongoro Crater?.
A. Hmm they walk in!
Q. Eva asked if there was a different moon here than Australia?
A. Are you serious?
Q. Do you have the big five in your snake park?
A. Oh Lordy
Q. In the Serengeti “Are those white birds Penguins?” and again “I can’t wait to see Tigers” again Instructions given when rafting in Junja, ” Swim to the left” “How will I know which way is left” and again “Are Ostriches birds?”
A. Oh Dear from New Zealand right!!!!
Q. Do Giraffes hunt in packs?”
A. Hmmm let me google that lol
Q. Is that machine a Juke Box?
A. NO it’s a ice machine.
Q. After 3 hours in the crater, a girls asks “So where is this crater everyone talks about?”
A. No comment.
Q. So what time is it going to rain?
A. Where you born blonde?
Q. What is the gestation period for a Maasai woman?
A. That’s a trick question right?
Q. When will I see the naked people?
A. She seemed disappointed when told “People wear clothes in Africa”
Q. What type of animal is Mickey Mouse?
A. We’ll ummmm
Q. Are the beers in the fridge cold?
A. No the fridge is just there for show
Q. Will I need money in this country?.
A. No everything is free, Duh
Q. How do I hand wash my trousers?
A. Maybe with your hands.
Q. Can we buy slaves at the slave market?
Q. Can I have my Archers in a glass please?
A. We’ll where else am I going to put it?
Q. How long does it take for a Giraffes eggs to hatch? How do they berry the eggs?
A. I’ll just find out for you, and get back to you soon.
Q. What do you put in your ice machine to make ice with?
A. Ahhhh some mothers children.
Q. Why doesn’t that Cheetah have any spots?
A. Erm….because it’s a dog.
Q. If it rains in the Ngorongoro Crater will the Lions get wet?
A. Of Course!!!!
Q. Do Lions speak or understand Swahili?.
A. No comment
Q. Can we hold poisonous snakes?
A. Give it a go and see what happens
Q. How do you get your snakes?
Q. What’s that lorry thing over there called?
A. I reckon it’s called a truck, but I could be wrong!!
Q. Do Vervet monkeys grow up to be Baboons?
A. Nuff said.
Q. Have you ever had a Lion walk through the bar?
A. Not for a few days, but you never know when they will walk in.
Q. What do Wildebeest do for visa’s when they get to the migration river?
A. There will be a immigration officer waiting at the river to issue 1.5 million visa’s to the wildebeest before they can cross.
Q. Passenger asks tour guide “Hey Amy are these African Elephants or Asian?
A. For frig sakes.
Q. Can we buy drinks in the bar?
A. No we just have them to make the place look pretty.
Q. If I do my own laundry will it dry faster? A. Probably not.
Q. Do Lions eat raw meat or cooked meat?
A. They actually prefer cooked meat, so after they have caught their prey, they gather around to build a campfire and then they BBQ it.
Q. Is the Kilimanjaro walk uphill?
A. If you can walk 19000ft high not uphill, you’ll get a medal.
Q. On the way to the crater a girl passenger asks the tour guide ” Do Elephants have belly buttons?” after stunned silence followed up with “Would they be innies or outies?”
A. No reply
Egyptian guy aged 42, says “This is my first time in Africa”
A. “Really…I wonder where Egypt is?”
Ma showing photo album to Jess “We came here in 93” Willy 14 says quietly to Jess ” “so is she 93”
Passenger says: “I think I have Malaria” Guide says “How many mozzie bites have you got?” Passenger replies: ” None” Stunned silence!!!!!
Passenger says “Oh look it’s an Emu! Oh no it’s an ostrich”. Guide says: ” We’ll obviously because Emu’s are extinct!”
Heaven help us!!!!! and some of these people teach our children….